| WOMENS AID ADVICE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND SEXUAL ABUSE ADVICE- First are you a victim, sometimes it is only when friends or other family members point out a situation to you that you realise you are a victim that you have been aware of problems maybe for many years. We sometimes shield ourselves from the awful predicaments that life seems to throw us it is a way of protecting ones mind and body . A child is small and certainly cannot fight of an adult or even older sibling when that person decides for no other reason that they want to let of some steam ie they had a bad day at work school or they are being abused themselves a child can be very easily blackmailed. The old story the relative or dear family friend wants to keep what they do to you a secret because well you make up your mind its not that hard to think of such lies you could tell a child to keep it quiet for many years if not people have gone to there death beds with memories that would destroy the hardest criminals. Adults yes adults in partnerships can equally be victims. In the UK quarter of all crimes are domestic. Lets ask the question what is violence or abuse how does one categorize this kind of abuse when it solely surrounds you. IS IT ABOUT POWER ? This can be an controlling partner which subjects physical or emotional abuse. There are many forms of abuse physical attack is one. Hitting and sex can be used in a way of dominating a partner. Even down to the control of finances or the way you dress even the way you have your hair styled.. 1 Does your partner accuse you of what they consider as crimes. Looking at the opposite sex to long or talking on the phone to friends or relatives. Does violence play part in your relationship whether it be verbal or physical. 2 Psychological abuse is very damaging it whittles away at your confidence Until you believe you are fat ugly a whore or that you deserve it. If this is what is happening in your relationship it might be even harder to break away. As your confidence is even more damaged. 3 Blackmail. Does your partner threaten to kill themselves or even you or worse your children. Or even you pet. A partner with such problems will know what means the most to you and will use this as a weapon. Violence against women and children is only a part of a larger problem. Woman can equally be violent towards there partner and children. For a man to be on the end of mental or physical abuse, has even been thought as comic think of Punch and Judy and not up to all that long ago the Carry on films. We are subjected to violence everyday whether it be on television or on the street outside your own home so does that mean we are becoming immune to such a dIsease that there never seems to be a cure. 24 hour drinking in our cities bars and night clubs does this help when a druken partner comes home to the sober face that is no fun. There is a answer Leave the situation there is always help it will not happen instantly but if you are looking for it, IT IS THERE.. I can promise when you find it then you will wonder why you had waited so long. No-one should live there life in fear ESPECIALLY FROM WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE A GAURDIAN OR LOVED ONE. Question you will have to ask yourself. 1 Why do I stay in this relationship you can and will ask yourself or others will ask you the question. Its easy for someone else to say leave. There seems to be great shame when you know you are being abused. WHY Its not you that is the abuser. YOUR CHILDREN Children if they see or witness there parents fighting can only affect there emotional well being. Please do not think because they are young they do not understand or care enough they have young minds which act like sponges they do understand and care when they see a problem and know when something in greatly wrong. I can only say if you are thinking of looking for help in what ever predicament you are in and you are reading this web page there is help. Do not be frightened about short term fostering that would be the last resort that social services want to enter but remember staying in a violent situation with children the authorities have the right to put your children into care until matters are resolved. So before this situation rises do something about . Do not accept violence as something you have to put up with you are here only once so care for yourself and any children that come into contact with a violent partner. Do not put of leaving or telling someone the secret tell someone in authority whether it be a teacher social services or the police if people had acted quicker they might be able to tel a different story today. There are services which we will highlight for you to get help so do not struggle anymore there is light at the end of the tunnel. SERVEF Supports domestic violence. FIDH The international Federation of Human rights. The FIDH BRING TOGETHER 114 HUMAN RIGHTS ORGANISATIONS FROM 90 COUNTRIES GENERAL FACTS More than a year ago Spain acquired a spectacular legislative arsenal to fight domestic violence. Nearly 19,000 complaints of mistreatment were lodged in 1997 Spain In Sweden aid centres for battered woman advise leaving after the first hit as the situation can only get worse. In Greece marital rape is not necessary constitute an offence but in Italy it is considered a crime. In France Rape is recognised by the law and therefore punished. In Ireland 40 percent of murders of woman are committed by there husbands. It is therefore important for woman to be able to leave home at once and to find shelter (often with there children) Woman must be able to live in a safe area. Violence will rise most in the period that the woman is trying to leave her violent situation. If a woman then does not leave her husband or partner it is assumed she is responsible for her own predicament. Spanish Prime minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapalero. said - Womens equality should be part of the EU a new 10 year pan to make the bloc,s economy more competitive. | hgfhgfdfdhfdhdhdhgdgfdfdhgfdhd fhgdhgfd |